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3:30-- Host_5773: He knew I was a sex worker. It says so, right in my own Bumble profile: retired media whore, current actual whore.

He'd even commented on it, using the words every woman longs to know from a romantic interest:'Haha, nice ;) '. And yet I watched as his face contorted directly into an expression of disgust, his upper lip curling as the reality of my profession came crashing down around him like a tonne of bricks.


"That is clearly a lot," he said, and he then rolled to his back and stared at the ceiling. I didn't hear from him again.

It sometimes surprises people to know that sex workers do a number of normal people activities, like working other jobs, studying, taking the bins out. We exist in real life after our shifts end and the red light is flicked off; we've dinner with your families and shop at K-Mart and wait on hold with your internet service providers for what is like hours.


It's not common that the physical and emotional experiences we've at the job could be enough to replace a potential insufficient intimate connection in our lives outside work; so most of us also date, with varied degrees of success.

A couple of months ago, I ended a relationship with a man I had been seeing for nearly two years. In private, he was a huge supporter of me working, but around his colleagues and friends his tune did actually change. He would introduce me, but hesitate in describing our relationship; when he said, "That is Kate..." the silence that hung in the space where, "...my girlfriend," should have already been weighed a tonne.


I don't genuinely believe that he personally had a problem with me being a sex worker, but I actually do think that the chance of others judging me – and then judging him to be with me – was enough to make him want to help keep me a secret.

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